2 1/2 months ago I learned of a boy that had just died in a driving accident. He had just graduated from high school and my kids and several friends knew him. My heart immediately went out to his family and the loss and grief they must have been feeling. I did not personally know any of them. A few days later, the friend I work with called and asked if I could help her clean this family's home to prepare for relatives coming in for the funeral. Upon arriving at the house, the grief was tangible, even from the young man's dog. The boy's father's face was indescribable. He kept saying, "if only I....." Honestly my heart broke for this man and his sons.
As I was cleaning I thought about all the teenagers I know. I wanted to hug every one of them, kiss them and love on them, then shake them and bring them to this house to see the pain caused to families when a child dies. I just want to open their eyes and make them see that cars can be dangerous. They aren't toys. Life is fragile. I want every child to know, REALLY know that God loves them no matter what, that HE will never leave their side, and that HE is NEVER disappointed in them. His desire is for them to live healthy lives with their eyes on HIM.
My mind and emotions have been all over the place since last Thursday night when I received the phone call from my daughter saying, "Mom, I rolled my car but I'm all right." She told me where she was and as I set out to go get her another phone call came in that the paramedics wanted to take her to the ER to make sure she was o.k. I got there ahead of them, so I waited. I think because I actually talked to her and not just the paramedics, and I knew she was ok, I was not nearly as anxious as I would have been, had I just heard from the paramedics. When I first saw her, I was so very relieved and she really looked good, considering . Looking at her you could not tell anything. A cat scan and complete spinal x-ray showed absolutely no injury. Praising the Lord continually in my mind, I thought "ok, we can do this, we are going to get through this." She was quickly released and we were headed home just past 12:30 a.m. She was very sore for 2 days but is doing very well and went back to school today.
Well, then comes the car.......I went today to collect our belongings. We knew it was totalled. As I walked into the storage yard and looked around for it, I didn't initially recognize it. My eyes didn't even hesitate on the little silver car that, from the front, looked nothing like our car. I continued to look for our "cute" little car. Well, back to the "other" one, yep, that was our car. I could just stand there and literally gasp. The man who was helping me walked over and hugged me because he could tell that I really wasn't doing very well. He asked if the driver was all right and I told him she walked away with only a few scratches. We knew God's hand was obviously covering her, but to see the car brought a whole new realization to what extent He did so. The car was smashed, with the exception of the driver's section. As if an angel surrounded our sweet girl and kept the car from crushing her. Thankfulness doesn't even begin to describe the beginning of my feelings and emotions.
Once again, I find myself wanting to hug and kiss and hold my kids, and other people's kids, then turn around and shake them and make them realize their choices have consequences.
I want them to realized how much I love them and that the possibility of planning a funeral was too close. We talked about planning a teenagers funeral this weekend, and that reality was very sobering for all of us. I know that God comforts those who mourn, but honestly, I cannot imagine what it's like to lose a child.........
I look forward to seeing my walking talking miracle today after school today. I plan to hug her more than usual, and my son too. To tell my family how much they mean to me and to continue to pray God's protection over them each and every day. The Lord has reminded me to be thankful for what I have, love the ones that are right here with me, and tell friends I appreciate them.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Thinking 'out loud'
I think often of this blog but haven't had anything to 'say out loud.' Our life has been quite a rollercoaster ride this summer and currently we are in the middle of a loop-de-loop. Our adoption is officially on hold through the placement agency because of some paperwork issues on the Ethiopian side. I am surprisingly not anxious throughout this process. I am believing in God's timing as I continue to pray for our little one(s). I long to hold them and begin the act of loving them. Our family continues to talk about the 'one day' event that will bring them home to us. We are all anticipating the change and looking forward to it.
In June, we had the honor and privilege of partaking in an event called "Both Hands" where we raised money for our adoption by working on a widow's home. It was incredible and wonderful and a blessing that cannot possibly be measured in a monetary way. Our prayer from day 1 was for the woman, Tina, to come to know the Lord, regardless of how much money was made.
We continue to look to the Lord for direction and opportunities to give Him glory throughout this whole process. We continue to pray for other families who are in the 'thick of it' with their own adoption processes. 2 families have brought their children home and we look forward to celebrating with the next 2 families as they await news. God is good and His timing is perfect!
In June, we had the honor and privilege of partaking in an event called "Both Hands" where we raised money for our adoption by working on a widow's home. It was incredible and wonderful and a blessing that cannot possibly be measured in a monetary way. Our prayer from day 1 was for the woman, Tina, to come to know the Lord, regardless of how much money was made.
We continue to look to the Lord for direction and opportunities to give Him glory throughout this whole process. We continue to pray for other families who are in the 'thick of it' with their own adoption processes. 2 families have brought their children home and we look forward to celebrating with the next 2 families as they await news. God is good and His timing is perfect!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
The joy is in the waiting!
Waiting.....who in their right mind likes to wait? Waiting for a special day ............ to celebrate a life, your love, a special accomplishment finally achieved, the arrival of a new baby in the family, or adding a child to your already existing family. Waiting in line, in traffic, in the DMV. Waiting for news of a loved one far away, waiting for blood tests results, waiting for a diagnosis, waiting for the ball to drop.....or not.
We can wait in expectation, frustration, or anticipation
Here are the definitions I found on the following words:expectate (v) the mental attitude of looking forward to something coming
frustrate (v) to prevent from accomplishing a purpose or fulfilling a desire
anticipate (v) to think, speak, act, or feel an emotional response in advance.
We have all experienced these things.
In frustration, we have all looked for the shortest line at the department/grocery store only to find all them 5-6 people long, all with arm/cart loads of items. We have all been stuck in an endless parking lot called traffic, even worse if you or someone in your car needs a bathroom. Or, as a fellow facebooker posted, waiting at DMV in a roomful of people watching the numbers change all too slowly, if at all.
In anticipation, thinking the worst sometimes but wanting the best. When a child or loved one is going through something difficult, we want to know that everything really is going to be ok, and start acting like it's going to be ok, only then to have your thoughts do a flip-flop and now thinking that nothing good could possibly come out of the situation. We have acted on what we want to happen believing it will change the outcome.
But what is it that the Bible says about waiting?
Psm 130:5 ~ I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His work I put my hope.
Lam. 3:25-26 ~ The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.Psm 130:5 ~ I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His work I put my hope.
Prov 8:34 ~ Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway.
All these are reminders that waiting is something we all have to do. Life isn't just about now. It's trusting that God has good things in store but we have to wait for them to be finished. Many things take time and to take it early would be to take a project not yet completed, thus we would be disappointed in the results or complaining that it didn't turn out right. It is clearly stated in Proverbs that we will be blessed when we listen and wait. Not always our favorite pasttimes but definitely character builders. In Lamentations we are reminded that the Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him and that it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.
Waiting......actually, I started this post more than a month ago, but wasn't sure how to finish it, so i just left it. I have had lots of thoughts about lots of things re: this adoption, our child, my children, how we will adapt, what changes will be instant and what changes will be gradual. So much unknown, so much to do before he/she gets here, so much waiting........ I have spent lots of time praying for all the above situations....and today was completely blessed when I got to rock a 2 year old to sleep. She curled up in my lap with her blankie and went right to sleep.....what trust, what a huge reminder that very soon, there will come another who will need loving, understanding, patience, tenderness, and more love. My heart rejoices over the day that our new child completely trusts me..... not out of fear because no one else is around, but out of complete love. When he/she knows that I'm here for the long haul, that I want whats best for them, that I will protect them, love them, even discipline them when the time comes. When they know that I love them and it's forever.......all this because I have spent time waiting.
God's grace has surely been evident in this process. The waiting has given us time to think about certain situations and be better prepared. It has caused a longing to be stirred and an appreciation and thankfulness to be cemented in my heart. This waiting causes me to long for God's timing. It has caused me to pray in ways that I have never prayed before. With a fervency and passion for God's will in the lives of these innocent children. For the tribes, who desperately need to know a God who is loving, forgiving, and redeeming. For the tribes to know He has already paid a price.....
Waiting on the Lord........there is no place I would rather be. I know I will never be disappointed with what He chooses for me.
blessings,
Anne
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The Real Deal
I am real.....I have feelings, suggestions, and thoughts, that although they may not all go along with yours, they are mine and I claim them.
I love the Lord wholeheartedly and love singing out loud, loudly.....ask my family. I usually sing with zeal and joy, only occassionally quietly before the Lord. I LOVE singing! It's part of my DNA and has been as long as I can remember! I can turn anything into a song and love watching my children laugh when I do so to something odd, like worms or washing dishes. You should try it some time, it's very freeing. I sing out loud in public to declare my love to family members (don't I Emily), and sometimes they act embarassed but deep down I know they absolutely love it, although they will even deny that fact. If I am somewhere that I shouldn't be singing, like at work, I hum or whistle. Music is part of my soul and I am so thankful for it.
I wish I read my Bible everyday, but I don't. I think about it, but I too often let the distractions of life distract me, sometimes without even realizing it. I mean to do it, but like something shiny catching a child's eye, life and such distracts me quite easily.
I think some people think my thankfulness is fake. But it isn't. It really is possible, thanks to God, to be so truly thankful for someone else's joys and celebrations in life. Walking through this adoption process with my friends has opened my eyes to truly celebrating someone else's joys! It's wonderful to be so happy, genuinely happy, for someone else. I am in a season of the Lord revealing blessings in my life, and He has put the thankfulness in my heart, it is not contrived or insincere, and yes, I am thankful for it.
Being completely honest, it really bothers me when on FB, people are continually negative in their postings. I completely understand having an off day, we all do, and yes please let us know so we can pray for you. But, when day after day, the post is negative and a downer, oh my goodness, I'm trying not to judge. Let's open our eyes and choose to find something positive to see in the world around us. There are so many things to be thankful for......let's see, our elbows bend, most of us can walk without the use of a cane or wheelchair, those in a wheelchair or using a cane are thrilled that they have the devices so they can get around, we can open our eyes each morning and see the goodness of the Lord and the smile of a family member, we have warm shoes to wear on cold days and favorite sweatshirts too, we have refrigerators with food, we can sit with our face in the sun. Ok, ok, I'm done with that one.
I would love to have an organized house, but don't. I would love to be more computer literate, but I'm not. I am a very simple person. Big words are sometimes a mystery to me. If I know you well, I will tell you I have no idea what you just said, if I don't know you well, I will act like I completely 'get' what you are saying, then go home and look up the word myself and try to figure out what in the world you were talking about. Being honest here.
I love my mom and dad so very much, but I don't call them often enough. I want to and actually head towards the phone only to get distracted by something......it's really awful how often I set out to call them, to realize days later that I never did.
I live by lists. If I have a list, I will follow it and do my best to complete it in a day. No list= not much gets done.
So there it is, the real me. I actually wrote something more then erased it because I wasn't sure what others would think, ok here it is: I burp and pass gas out loud to watch my son and husband react, they laugh so hard that it makes me laugh too. There you have it, I'm breaking out of my shell.
blessings,
Anne
I love the Lord wholeheartedly and love singing out loud, loudly.....ask my family. I usually sing with zeal and joy, only occassionally quietly before the Lord. I LOVE singing! It's part of my DNA and has been as long as I can remember! I can turn anything into a song and love watching my children laugh when I do so to something odd, like worms or washing dishes. You should try it some time, it's very freeing. I sing out loud in public to declare my love to family members (don't I Emily), and sometimes they act embarassed but deep down I know they absolutely love it, although they will even deny that fact. If I am somewhere that I shouldn't be singing, like at work, I hum or whistle. Music is part of my soul and I am so thankful for it.
I wish I read my Bible everyday, but I don't. I think about it, but I too often let the distractions of life distract me, sometimes without even realizing it. I mean to do it, but like something shiny catching a child's eye, life and such distracts me quite easily.
I think some people think my thankfulness is fake. But it isn't. It really is possible, thanks to God, to be so truly thankful for someone else's joys and celebrations in life. Walking through this adoption process with my friends has opened my eyes to truly celebrating someone else's joys! It's wonderful to be so happy, genuinely happy, for someone else. I am in a season of the Lord revealing blessings in my life, and He has put the thankfulness in my heart, it is not contrived or insincere, and yes, I am thankful for it.
Being completely honest, it really bothers me when on FB, people are continually negative in their postings. I completely understand having an off day, we all do, and yes please let us know so we can pray for you. But, when day after day, the post is negative and a downer, oh my goodness, I'm trying not to judge. Let's open our eyes and choose to find something positive to see in the world around us. There are so many things to be thankful for......let's see, our elbows bend, most of us can walk without the use of a cane or wheelchair, those in a wheelchair or using a cane are thrilled that they have the devices so they can get around, we can open our eyes each morning and see the goodness of the Lord and the smile of a family member, we have warm shoes to wear on cold days and favorite sweatshirts too, we have refrigerators with food, we can sit with our face in the sun. Ok, ok, I'm done with that one.
I would love to have an organized house, but don't. I would love to be more computer literate, but I'm not. I am a very simple person. Big words are sometimes a mystery to me. If I know you well, I will tell you I have no idea what you just said, if I don't know you well, I will act like I completely 'get' what you are saying, then go home and look up the word myself and try to figure out what in the world you were talking about. Being honest here.
I love my mom and dad so very much, but I don't call them often enough. I want to and actually head towards the phone only to get distracted by something......it's really awful how often I set out to call them, to realize days later that I never did.
I live by lists. If I have a list, I will follow it and do my best to complete it in a day. No list= not much gets done.
So there it is, the real me. I actually wrote something more then erased it because I wasn't sure what others would think, ok here it is: I burp and pass gas out loud to watch my son and husband react, they laugh so hard that it makes me laugh too. There you have it, I'm breaking out of my shell.
blessings,
Anne
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
One purpose
"Therefore, if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort provided by love, any fellowship in the Spirit, any affection or mercy, complete my joy and be of the same mind, by having the same love, being united in spirit, and having one purpose." (Phlp 2:1-2)
These were the words I read today from my pastor. It's his birthday and this was his birthday request from his flock. I immediately thought of our new friends. This group of people, from different backgrounds, at completely different stages in life, brought together on this journey of adoption.
We had a potluck the other night and 5 of the 8 families were able to attend. Upon arriving and greeting others as they arrived, I felt a sense of belonging and genuine affection and concern for each person. I am so blessed to be a part of this group and I continually thank the Lord for bringing us into this place.
We celebrated Sunday night as one family shared their story of receiving their referral and picture of the child they would soon bring home. The joy and awesomeness of it all gave me goosebumps immediately and a lasting realization that this is really really happening, and soon each family will have their own referral, and better yet, will have made the trip, and we will all be together with our newest family members. We talked about such a time on Sunday night......we all smiled at the thought of being together to celebrate such a work of God......we talked about how big our group is going to be when all is said and done (almost 50)......we shared our concerns of the unknown......and we laughed at stories that were shared. The memories themselves brings a smile to my face.....it's just going to keep getting better.
All this because we are like minded, united by the Spirit, and have the same purpose in this decision to adopt.
I am overwhelmed at the goodness of the Lord. Back in November, Bruce and I were talking about financing this adoption and came to the realization that God would have to intervene in a mighty way. We completely believed He could and would do this. We discussed the possibility of using whatever money we received back from taxes to further our process. Well, we found out yesterday that the amount of money we will get back will cover the next 4 steps!!!!!! It's amazing, and wonderful, and so God-like to fill a need so specifically requested. I kept praying it would be enough for these specific steps and it is. Why this continues to amaze me, I don't know. I do know that He is a God that fulfills His plans. We believe wholeheartedly that this adoption is a part of His plan and that He will continue to provide.
We continue to pray for all the children in the orphanage, the families involved, the nannies, cooks, guards, and the family there overseeing the whole project. We are so thankful!
These were the words I read today from my pastor. It's his birthday and this was his birthday request from his flock. I immediately thought of our new friends. This group of people, from different backgrounds, at completely different stages in life, brought together on this journey of adoption.
We had a potluck the other night and 5 of the 8 families were able to attend. Upon arriving and greeting others as they arrived, I felt a sense of belonging and genuine affection and concern for each person. I am so blessed to be a part of this group and I continually thank the Lord for bringing us into this place.
We celebrated Sunday night as one family shared their story of receiving their referral and picture of the child they would soon bring home. The joy and awesomeness of it all gave me goosebumps immediately and a lasting realization that this is really really happening, and soon each family will have their own referral, and better yet, will have made the trip, and we will all be together with our newest family members. We talked about such a time on Sunday night......we all smiled at the thought of being together to celebrate such a work of God......we talked about how big our group is going to be when all is said and done (almost 50)......we shared our concerns of the unknown......and we laughed at stories that were shared. The memories themselves brings a smile to my face.....it's just going to keep getting better.
All this because we are like minded, united by the Spirit, and have the same purpose in this decision to adopt.
I am overwhelmed at the goodness of the Lord. Back in November, Bruce and I were talking about financing this adoption and came to the realization that God would have to intervene in a mighty way. We completely believed He could and would do this. We discussed the possibility of using whatever money we received back from taxes to further our process. Well, we found out yesterday that the amount of money we will get back will cover the next 4 steps!!!!!! It's amazing, and wonderful, and so God-like to fill a need so specifically requested. I kept praying it would be enough for these specific steps and it is. Why this continues to amaze me, I don't know. I do know that He is a God that fulfills His plans. We believe wholeheartedly that this adoption is a part of His plan and that He will continue to provide.
We continue to pray for all the children in the orphanage, the families involved, the nannies, cooks, guards, and the family there overseeing the whole project. We are so thankful!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Walking in faith
Shouts of joy and praise continually go through my mind as yet another child has been rescued! We are up to 13 children rescued and living in the orphanage. At times, I am speechless, what words can possibly describe the thankfulness for God's hand to provide a way out for these children? Then again, what words describe the grief I feel when I think about this horrific superstition and children who are dying. My prayers are with Lale, who is continuing to search for children. I am so thankful for his perseverance and willingness to continue searching, and his dependence on our God to lead him to where they are. I am thankful for Levi and Jessie for the sacrifices they have made and the love and labor they are putting into changing lives. For the nannies, cook, and guard, do they even realize what a part they are playing in the larger scheme of things for these children? Do they realize that they are loving on and caring for a child, who perhaps in 20 years will return to the village with a message of hope in Christ that will continue the work that Lale has begun there? So many possibilities, so much hope!
The adopting families along with Jessie, met at Keith and Annie's last night. What an awesome group of people that I am so honored to know. I feel like the bond grows tighter and realtionships grow stronger with each get-together. The realization that this is really happening for all of us is becoming clearer and clearer. To see Rich and Melissa so close is beyond excitement! Listening to all the questions and wonderings is so encouraging. What an awesome blessing to walk through this incredible experience with such God-honoring people.
In our own process, God has once again proven His faithfulness. On Christmas eve, we had another pie fundraiser and delivered 40 pies! With Christmas gifts and extra donations, we were able to come up with the funds for our homestudy and the application fee for Wide Horizons (which is the placement agency). We have since received both packets of information in the mail and have started gathering the paperwork and information required. There are classes we have to take, books to read, fingerprinting, and lots of documents to gather. It's a very exciting time and we are very thankful to be in the midst of it. As we continue to push forward through this process we are keeping our eyes and ears open to fundraising ideas for future costs. We get one step out of the way financially, to realize there is yet another one just around the corner. It's all good though and we continue to wait on the LORD to see how HE is going to work it all out. Hebrews 10:23 says, "He who promised is faithful" and we are believing in God for all of this to work out in His timing.
Thank you for your prayers, your support, and your company on this journey,
be blessed,
~Anne
The adopting families along with Jessie, met at Keith and Annie's last night. What an awesome group of people that I am so honored to know. I feel like the bond grows tighter and realtionships grow stronger with each get-together. The realization that this is really happening for all of us is becoming clearer and clearer. To see Rich and Melissa so close is beyond excitement! Listening to all the questions and wonderings is so encouraging. What an awesome blessing to walk through this incredible experience with such God-honoring people.
In our own process, God has once again proven His faithfulness. On Christmas eve, we had another pie fundraiser and delivered 40 pies! With Christmas gifts and extra donations, we were able to come up with the funds for our homestudy and the application fee for Wide Horizons (which is the placement agency). We have since received both packets of information in the mail and have started gathering the paperwork and information required. There are classes we have to take, books to read, fingerprinting, and lots of documents to gather. It's a very exciting time and we are very thankful to be in the midst of it. As we continue to push forward through this process we are keeping our eyes and ears open to fundraising ideas for future costs. We get one step out of the way financially, to realize there is yet another one just around the corner. It's all good though and we continue to wait on the LORD to see how HE is going to work it all out. Hebrews 10:23 says, "He who promised is faithful" and we are believing in God for all of this to work out in His timing.
Thank you for your prayers, your support, and your company on this journey,
be blessed,
~Anne
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