Choices

2 1/2 months ago I learned of a boy that had just died in a driving accident. He had just graduated from high school and my kids and several friends knew him. My heart immediately went out to his family and the loss and grief they must have been feeling. I did not personally know any of them. A few days later, the friend I work with called and asked if I could help her clean this family's home to prepare for relatives coming in for the funeral. Upon arriving at the house, the grief was tangible, even from the young man's dog. The boy's father's face was indescribable. He kept saying, "if only I....." Honestly my heart broke for this man and his sons.

As I was cleaning I thought about all the teenagers I know. I wanted to hug every one of them, kiss them and love on them, then shake them and bring them to this house to see the pain caused to families when a child dies. I just want to open their eyes and make them see that cars can be dangerous. They aren't toys. Life is fragile. I want every child to know, REALLY know that God loves them no matter what, that HE will never leave their side, and that HE is NEVER disappointed in them. His desire is for them to live healthy lives with their eyes on HIM.

My mind and emotions have been all over the place since last Thursday night when I received the phone call from my daughter saying, "Mom, I rolled my car but I'm all right." She told me where she was and as I set out to go get her another phone call came in that the paramedics wanted to take her to the ER to make sure she was o.k. I got there ahead of them, so I waited. I think because I actually talked to her and not just the paramedics, and I knew she was ok, I was not nearly as anxious as I would have been, had I just heard from the paramedics. When I first saw her, I was so very relieved and she really looked good, considering . Looking at her you could not tell anything. A cat scan and complete spinal x-ray showed absolutely no injury. Praising the Lord continually in my mind, I thought "ok, we can do this, we are going to get through this." She was quickly released and we were headed home just past 12:30 a.m. She was very sore for 2 days but is doing very well and went back to school today.

Well, then comes the car.......I went today to collect our belongings. We knew it was totalled. As I walked into the storage yard and looked around for it, I didn't initially recognize it. My eyes didn't even hesitate on the little silver car that, from the front, looked nothing like our car. I continued to look for our "cute" little car. Well, back to the "other" one, yep, that was our car. I could just stand there and literally gasp. The man who was helping me walked over and hugged me because he could tell that I really wasn't doing very well. He asked if the driver was all right and I told him she walked away with only a few scratches. We knew God's hand was obviously covering her, but to see the car brought a whole new realization to what extent He did so. The car was smashed, with the exception of the driver's section. As if an angel surrounded our sweet girl and kept the car from crushing her. Thankfulness doesn't even begin to describe the beginning of my feelings and emotions.

Once again, I find myself wanting to hug and kiss and hold my kids, and other people's kids, then turn around and shake them and make them realize their choices have consequences.
I want them to realized how much I love them and that the possibility of planning a funeral was too close. We talked about planning a teenagers funeral this weekend, and that reality was very sobering for all of us. I know that God comforts those who mourn, but honestly, I cannot imagine what it's like to lose a child.........

I look forward to seeing my walking talking miracle today after school today. I plan to hug her more than usual, and my son too. To tell my family how much they mean to me and to continue to pray God's protection over them each and every day. The Lord has reminded me to be thankful for what I have, love the ones that are right here with me, and tell friends I appreciate them.